Alex Thao - Lead You Home
Everyday you find your self stuck out in the rain
Nothing ever seems to go, the way that it should go
And now it's got you looking into the sky
You're shaking your head, but that don't change a thing
You wish God was everything he promised you

But, take a step back and think for a while now,
God is in control, so why are you fighting

You'll see His love for you is like the countless stars
Never ending, always sure his love will take you far
God is much bigger than the things you make him out to be
You'll see, God is everything you need to lead you home

You say you've got it all figured out, got it down, you're going for the crown
But things go wrong and you feel like your whole worlds upside down
Maybe it's time you lose the thought of doing things for yourself
Take a turn for the better and lose your life just to find it

When it feels like no one cares about you
Just know that God is always there to hold you

It's been awhile since i listened to Alex Thao, and i love his music. & im so happy to have listened to this song that he wrote. The lyrics to this song is really inspiring. It's a song that reflects me, and a reminder to me. It's true, we only tend to search for God when something doesn't go our way. Only in the bad times we pray to God and ask Him for help. We really really need to engrave into our hearts that God leads the way. He has a plan for each and every one of us. God's love is everlasting. Nothing can ever take away the love He has for us. And that God will never ever ever abandon us, in the good or rough times. God is good all the time!

The feeling of feeling forgotten.. by people who "supposedly" care about you. It hurts when they forget about you, yet you never once forgotten about them. It kinda really shows just how much they "care" about you, if they can't even remember you. It's these things that get to me most.. it makes me think why i put in so much effort in trying to remember things about people when they can't even remember me.
In the end, i'm just someone who isn't important to anyone at all. I need to get that in my head and get use to that fact.

Yesterday was Good Friday, and i attended the Good Friday Youth Rally at Unionville Alliance Church with my church, TGAC. The theme of yesterday's youth rally was "Raising Hope". I'm glad i went to the youth rally, and that "Raising Hope" was the theme of the night. I really needed this. It allowed me to remember that in my situations, i may feel hopeless, but all i need to remember is that Jesus is with me. That, because He died on the cross for us, we have hope. The cross was once a symbol for hopelessness, because people got crucified on it.. but for us, when we look at the cross, we remember that we have hope. Jesus sacrificed Himself for us, and He has been through worse things than we will ever have to experience. So, we shouldn't even begin to complain about our problems. And when we feel like God abandoned us in our time of need, we should remember that Jesus felt the same way when he cried out on that cross, "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?" Jesus identifies with us that he once went through what we are going or gonna go through. That He too felt God abandon Him when He was on that cross. But of course, we need to know that God never ever leaves us. That He is always by our side watching over us no matter what. God has a plan, He has a way. Last night was really such a beautiful reminder for me. With Him, nothing is impossible.

In my whole entire life, i never experienced being appreciated. No matter what i do for someone, they will always forget the deed I do. But what people do remember of me, are the bad things about me. I just want someone, a family, friend, whoever to appreciate the things I do for them. I never ever get appreciated by anyone. All i ever get, are people backstabbing and betraying me. I'm tired of all this. There is absolutely no one in this world who feels the pain i feel. No one will ever understand what i went through, and what i'm going through. I'm falling back into my dark past, and right now, i'm not convinced that this world is good for me. I want to leave this earth.. cause maybe that's the only way for people to actually realize what i'm going through.

I just researched OCAD's admission requirements for uni, and honestly, all their requirements.. im not even scared of. I know that with my marks, i'm able to get into the university.. except only one thing is holding me back. The portfolio part. Everyone knows i can't draw to save my life. And the fact that i have to make a portfolio as a requirement to get into my first choice university is KILLING me. It's the only thing i'm scared of. My portfolio. Everything else i'm fine with, just not the portfolio. I have no creativity when it comes to drawing. I can't draw at all. I'm just not gonna get into university and die. The end.

i just want that ONE friend who i can just go to and tell them a secret/rant, and know that whatever i say to them is safe with them, and that i don't have to be afraid of them spreading it. If i had that one friend.. i wouldn't be here right now typing this.