At the moment, i feel like the whole world is turning their back against me, that the whole world is gonna come crumbling down any second. I feel so lost, lonely and insecure in this world. I feel like everything people say to me just happens to be all lies. I feel like I'm drifting away from my loves who i put as my everything. Am i being paranoid? Or is that how i really see things? I don't know anymore. I want this pain to stop. I thought my depressing days were over, I thought that i was starting anew, that my life got turned around for the better. It seems like people just wanted to bring my hopes up, just so they can bring it back down again. Were promises made to be broken? Many reply with a 'no', so how come i feel like it is? Maybe in this life, I never deserved to ever be happy. I dislike having my old vulnerable self coming out again. I hate myself for tearing down the wall i had once built around myself from others. I want to build it back up, so that i won't continue getting hurt. I don't want to make people my everything anymore, because once they're gone, i'll be left with nothing. I should end the pain soon so that i won't continue getting hurt in the future. I can keep my word for being there always, but let me ask you, can you? And don't promise me anything yet. I want to see if you can through actions. I cried for 2 days straight already. Just like old times, where i would cry everyday.. I'm afraid I'm going to break down tomorrow. That's the last thing i want. To let my friends see me cry, and especially at school where everyone can see me ...I should start showing people by strong side, and stop crying. Let's try it.. but it'll be hard. Depression for the rest of the year, here i come. Because i know, i know that this is just the beginning of losing more friends who are dear to me.