lesson learned.
sometimes, i wonder where the hell did my brain come from? apparently, if you have a big head, you have a small brain. seems like i got that. Cause i'm so stupid. Honestly, what was i even thinking? drifting away from my best friends? smart viviann smart . You should've known better than that. You should've known they aren't like those people back at your old school! They're way better than that. They keep the words they say to you. So never doubt them. Because they would never lie to you, when they say they're always there for you, and they would never abandon you.
Last Night, i decided i wanted to be strong and to not depend on people on my problems anymore. But i realized, being strong isn't about facing problems alone. It's about gathering the courage to talk about it to the people who love you, especially telling them if they're the one who made you cry. That's what being strong is. My definition of strong was totally wrong. It caused a huge misunderstanding between my best friend and i. I used the excuse of saying she had her own problems to deal with and didn't want her to worry, because i didn't have the courage to tell her what was actually wrong. I knew that not telling her was gonna cause even more problems. But again, i couldn't gather up the courage to just tell her like that. And then, because of that i made her cry. I made her think that she did something wrong. When in reality, it was my fault. It wasn't anyone's fault, but my own. I should've just told her when she asked me the first time, because i knew she wouldn't judge me. But i always had a thing of not being able to tell people that they were the cause of my pain. But i came to my senses that it's better to talk it out rather than to avoid it. Because once you avoid the problem, it just grows bigger and bigger. But when you talk about it, you are able to compromise and solve the problem together and have your friendship grow stronger through that. So, from now on, I won't deal with things alone because that's not me. I'm not strong. And people accept me for that. What makes me strong are my best friends.
Last Night, i decided i wanted to be strong and to not depend on people on my problems anymore. But i realized, being strong isn't about facing problems alone. It's about gathering the courage to talk about it to the people who love you, especially telling them if they're the one who made you cry. That's what being strong is. My definition of strong was totally wrong. It caused a huge misunderstanding between my best friend and i. I used the excuse of saying she had her own problems to deal with and didn't want her to worry, because i didn't have the courage to tell her what was actually wrong. I knew that not telling her was gonna cause even more problems. But again, i couldn't gather up the courage to just tell her like that. And then, because of that i made her cry. I made her think that she did something wrong. When in reality, it was my fault. It wasn't anyone's fault, but my own. I should've just told her when she asked me the first time, because i knew she wouldn't judge me. But i always had a thing of not being able to tell people that they were the cause of my pain. But i came to my senses that it's better to talk it out rather than to avoid it. Because once you avoid the problem, it just grows bigger and bigger. But when you talk about it, you are able to compromise and solve the problem together and have your friendship grow stronger through that. So, from now on, I won't deal with things alone because that's not me. I'm not strong. And people accept me for that. What makes me strong are my best friends.
Written on June 4, 2010 at 12:05 AM