kinda just saw a post on tumblr that made me go all ASFGASJHFGJHFGJK in a bad way. not gonna get in detail about it, but since blogspot is probably the most private place without having many people see it & question it, i decided to just say that here. really dont know why im still like this. its been so long now. ): help me sort out my emotions PLEASE.

I find it so sad hearing about this. North Korea attacked South Korea yesterday 2:30 in the afternoon. Honestly north korea... WHY are you starting this again ?! you're killing millions of innocent people. Just leave South Korea alone. they're leaving you alone. why must you do this !? & the fact that you got China in this as well... just doesnt make things any better. China is so big now.. and you got them on your side... this is gonna be the start of WWIII. Why can't this world just have peace already? there has been so many wars , and so many deaths because of wars, its ridiculous. War doesn't solve anything. War continues on forever. You must be the change in this world, and create peace. you don't gain anything out of this. WHY WHY WHY. this just makes me so sad. so many innocent people.. losing their lives because of this.

Whats even more sad, is that i'm on tumblr doing my own thing, and see people talking about this whole war thing.. but people are only worried about South Korea because of their kpop idols. REALLY NOW GUYS?! like, at such a crucial time like this, all you can think about is your precious idols who you're scared for, because you're afraid you'll never get to watch them on tv or hear their music again? think of all the innocent people out there in South Korea who are dying because of this. Yes, i know the idols are innocent people too, and they're human.. but, all you guys talk about are the idols. And you guys are ONLY praying for your idols, how about you pray for all the people living in korea instead ! sigh, just hope things will work out. that no more deaths will involve, and this war will end before it gets even worse.

So there was an event that was going to be held for two days, on saturday & sunday. It was the 1040 Toronto Screening, where Pastor Jaeson Ma was gonna come & show us a movie about what God has been doing all around Asia. Esther Kevin Jessica & i went to the screening on sunday, since it was closer to us brampton people as it was located in mississauga instead of toronto. WOW, before i even continue on, must i say this has been a life changing experience for me. I thought TC changed me tremendously.. but, this screening changed me i dont even know how much.

We arrived at around 6:45, and we went into the korean church to find seats. We were luckily able to find seats that were quite close to the stage, to be able to see better. There were some TC friends that just happened to sit beside us. ;) LOL. Fulbert & his friends. :3 fulbert is a major cutie might i say. $: (L)

So we started off the night with worship! (: The worship team did an amazing job. (L) absolutely amazing! The drums, the singers, the guitarists & the violinist ! :) props to them. <3 After we did worship, Jaeson Ma came out, & he looked completely different than what i had imagine him to look like. LOL. A singer named Caleb Lin also came out with Jaeson Ma, and he taught us the chorus to Jaeson Ma's songs, 'Love' & 'Glory'. Jaeson Ma is not only such an amazing pastor & speaker, but he's a good rapper too! He rapped his heart out, getting down on his knees and everything. It was an amazing performance, & the lyrics was just mind blasting. Just from the performances, it was such a life changing experience.

It got even better after that. We watched the 1040 movie about Asia, where Christianity is spreading all over, and we were able to see what God had done. There was a part in the movie which really touched me. Where a korean pastor was willing to sacrifice his life for the rest of the people who were captured in Afghanistan & saying that it has always been his dream to sacrifice his life in an overseas mission. I thought that was truly truly amazing. No one would ever dare to risk their life to save somebody else. Maybe for family, but for other citizens, i've never seen that before.

After the movie, Jaeson Ma preached a short message about obedience, and then he shared some interesting stories. At the end of the night Jaeson asked us to pray. To pray for obedience, to pray for forgiveness of our sins, to pray for forgiveness for fearing the judgements of others, to pray for the holy spirit to come and fill our hearts. I prayed as much as I could, and when I left the church that night, I did feel a significant change. I don’t know how I changed or anything but I felt very good when I left. I do believe God touched my heart today.

There are some things that had left a deep impact on me on what Jaeson Ma said.

"Christianity is not a religion, it is a relationship between God & yourself"

"Do not compare yourself with others, but be yourself"

You do not need to make people love you, for you are already loved by God"

and some lyrics i love from his songs, 'love' & 'glory'.

"If you don't have a passion worth dying for, then you have nothing worth living for" - Glory

Love is selfless not selfish. Love is God and God is love.

So, almost this whole week i've been complaining about how horrible this week was. I still don't change my opinion on that, but today just made up for this horrible week. (L) Not only is it cause its friday, and the weekend is here, & i got no chinese school to worry about tomorrow, but because i was really happy with my mid-term marks i got this morning. <3 There was a very lovely surprise in my package for me, that completely made my day. (L) There were some negative stuff this morning, but i'll look beyond that. :)

SO! got my mid terms today ! :D HEHEHEHE. i was quite confident before hand about my mid term since i knew some of my marks in my classes. But still, i was real happy to see it on my report card. :) In careers, i finished with a 93! Maybe, i could've gotten a 95 or something higher, since its careers, and its about yourself.. but still! im happy. :) putting effort into everything that i did for that class, and actually doing my homework and everything and not slacking off, a 93 is good! :) Some people failed that class.. -___-" careers is the most slackest and easiest class you can get. Religion, i got a 84 :) Im gonna try and do better though! i can totally boost up my mark in that class. :) i somewhat failed our last test, which is probably why i got a 84, but i'll study this time and boost my mark up, since all our assignments so far, i've been receiving 80's & 90's on them. :) & for one of our tests, i got the highest mark in the class. SO, im real happy about that. <33 HEHE. In computers, im getting 85! LOL. shocker, getting a higher mark in computer and not religion. kinda sad too. LMFAO. i want to bring it to a 90! We got a test coming up, so.. gonna study for that & hopefully get a good mark on it. :D Math! ... oh man. not satisfied with this mark. DEF gonna get it up to a 96 no matter what! or at least the lowest to a 90. ): my goal ! still cant believe i dropped 5%. ): everytime i think about it, i just hate myself for it. ): Like, the homework and everything is SOOOOO easy. but the tests... i just freeze up on it! Like, i dont know what the teacher puts on the test.. none of us know what to do. They're like, questions we never even got taught before. BUT, i believe im gonna get to my goal. i must & i will. i have faith. (L) So yeah, my overall average was a 86.25 ! :D WOOOOOOOT! im doing so much better compared to last yeaaar. (L) thats what makes me happy. :) i got no B's & got everything above 80% ! :D it feels good. :) & it just gives me motivation to continue doing good. :D

MY SURPRISE IN MY PACKAGE... HEHEHEHE. <3 highlight of my day.I RECEIVED A CERTIFICATE THAT SAIIIID,
St. Thomas Aquinas Secondary School recognizes VIVIAN DIEP for Outstand Academic Achievement Honour Roll 2009/2010 i dont care if its last year. I MADE IT INTO THE HONOR ROLL. LIKE, I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD. ME OF ALL PEOPLE. I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT BEING IN HONOR ROLL. so its a big accomplishment for me. i'm definitely gonna keep working hard, so that i will stay in honor roll. ! (Y) <3 & it makes me happy because i got to show my mommy it, & she was proud. :) now, im gonna show my daddy when he gets home, & prove to him that i am smart for every time he looked down on my grades. (Y) YAY FOR TODAY.

in computer class right now, and we get some free time after we finished programming some stuff. (: so i'm on tumblr and on blogspot. ^^ hehe. today sucks.. just like all the other days of this week. im so pissed today. Like, i know its not even surprising anymore, but just this morning pissed me off. Especially in first period. it just killed me mood. We were continuing our debate about whether or not church is relevant to young people these days.. and the people in my group are just... so damn annoying. honestly, i would've been the speaker for the debate for my side, if i wasn't sick and had a sore throat. I had so many arugments i could've said in my head. But obvs, i wasn't able to. My group's points suckeed, like it made no sense. They were telling their own testimony, and weren't even relating it back to the topic. And all they knew how to do was yell at one another. This is the reason why we lost the debate. Because there's no communication in the group.
in math today, just did my own things. Did my homework, without paying attention to what my teacher was teaching, cause i don't like the way she teaches, so i just like to ignore her lessons. finished my homework nice and early, and i was smart to bring my tutoring homework that i didn't finish last night. So i worked on . (Y) i only have two questions left because i don't understand it. ): hopefully i will soon, or i'll just ask kitty when i go to lessons tonight.(Y)
The boys are playing Halo right now in computer class, and all i hear is 'JJ LOOK!' LOOOL. i keep thinking they're saying JJ as in Jaejoong. xD i'm such a DBSK fangirl. hehehe. and my arm is aching so much right now, it really hurts. ):

this week has just been plain horrible. Wish i didn't go to school this whole week. Even though i still got thursday and friday left.. i already know how that'll turn out.. the same as today & yesterday. everyone at school and at home are just pissing me off to the max. I just wanna isolate myself from the whole world for awhile. School legit just sucks nowadays. Religion, we're doing some debate, and im stuck in a group full of etims, and just cause i'm the asian, they tell me to do all the work. like, get your own brains and do some work. Fully spazzed at them today, because all they know how to do is fight, and argue with one another, and then get me to do the work. assholes. hate these etims. no lies, the only etims that are actually nice, and dont think they're all that, are Jeanette, Kayla & Annesia. that is it. All the others think they're all that, and that they rule over everyone.
math... just stupid. hate this class so much. like, the people in it, and the teacher. Teacher is nice and all, but just the way she teaches is totally WTF? she can't teach at all. Second year in a row where i got crappy teachers for math. & the class.. like, the people sitting behind me are so loud.. and so rude and they think they're the best too >.> like, can't they just shut up for once and listen to the teacher and stop making comments ?! UGH. piss off. how did i get stuck in a class with them ?
Computer class... so boring. and the room is so hot, like right when i enter the room i'm already sweating. nasty tings. hope they can fix the heater or something soon. & civics.. its a good class. but, some of the etims from religion class are in my civics class, and they just make things so horrible. UGH.

LOOOOOOL, talking to Esther right now, and we're having a boyfriend talk part 2 from last night. ;) LOOOOL.


i realize what i hate most in a guy is when they're SO TOUCHY, when we're not even officially dating yet, holding you by the waist and whatnot.. like, i dont like guys who are all up in my waist area. its my most insecure place, yet all they ever do is touch me there... UGH. T_T" hate hate hate hate it. had a past experience from it just last year.. gosh, hated that guy so much. keep your hands to yourself, like how we always learned since young! this is probably why i never had a boyfriend before. LOL. cause im just so picky with guys. XDDD

whateves, i love my life now. not even desperate to have a boyfriend.. yeah it'd be nice to do some cute couple things... but single life is good, staring at guys without feeling guilt knowing you're taken already. :D LOOOL.

I stayed home from school todaaay. Wasnt feeling well in the morning, since i felt light headed, and i had a fever this morning. My fever is actually still here. :( sigh. I didn't even do anything today. LOL. i just slept till 1, ate lunch, went on the computer. hehehe.


Today seemed to be a better day than the weekend that just passed. Jessica & my mommy seem to be all better, Esther & i overcame our problem. :) Fresh new start of the week. ^^ teehee. i found out i have a math quiz tomorrow. GREAT. :( i hope i actually pass, and boost my mark up in math! i dont even think i'll be fully awake during second period to even do the quiz properly. :( I'll just try my best i guess. D:


HEHE, BEAST's beautiful mv came out! :D its 7 minutes long! I LOVE IT. LOOOOOL. like, the boys are SO CUTE IN IT. i couldnt even recognize Junhyung with all the hair on his head! LOL. im so use to seeing him bald. LMFAO LMFAO. but he looks so cute . (LLLL)Yoseob is a major cutie like always, & AJ was so hot when he was dancinggg. (L) i would post the mv on my blog, if it'd actually let me. :( hmph.

AND THEN, there's their performance at Love Sharing Concert.. SO CUTE ONCE AGAIN! they were so energetic and all smiles. <3333 this is why i love these boys so much. not only are they just so talented, vocals and dancing wise, but the presence they give off on stagee, just puts a huge smile on my face. (LLL) I LOVE BEAST. :D <3

As a third person of what just happened, she didn't deserve to be humiliated like that. I shouldve told the story from MY point of view, because i saw everything. There were things where both of them left out. It's really not fair. Like, sitting at the table and hearing and watching everything and everyone... you didn't need to expose her. You yelled at her for exposing and humiliating you yesterday.. but you did it twice.. today and yesterday. She didn't deserve any of that. Why did you have to make their visit a sad visit? You just wanted people on your side.. i really wish i could've said something.. and interrupted you when you were telling your side of the story. I should've actually. Everyone was literally ganging up on her... its so much to take in two days.. and adding on top, she has a test tomorrow first period. Real smooth. Knowing you, i don't think you're at ease either.. way to make it worse, way to make it worse.

ugh .. i feel so horrible right now.. like. my head is throbbing STILL.. since last night. and everytime i cough my headache just gets worse. :( for some reason, its so cold! it feels like someone opened the window and all the cold air is coming in. DDD: i was about to throw up all the food i just ate from my dinner, but the funny thing is that i didn't even finish my dinner. Thats how sick i am. I slept till 3pm today. x_x" and i woke up sweating, cause for some reason it was so hot in my room. :( this sickness is really not normal. >.>i wonder if i'll be okay to go to school tomorrow.. i can't miss anymore school. ugh, headache please go away already. :(

and yesterday, i was searching for my mom for half an hour in scarbrough .. and people wouldn't let me borrow their phones .. cause they didn't seem to believe me or something.. rude tings yo.

Good thing about yesterday, CUTEST waiter served me yesterday. (L) im in looooooove. (L) cutest chinese guy i've EVER seeeeen. <3

SO BLOGSPOT, I AM ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE RIGHT NOW. ALEX THAO IS A MAJOR CUTIE, WITH A BEAUTIFUL VOICE AND FACE. AND EVERYONE DESERVES TO KNOW ABOUT THIS. HE IS PERFECT. BEAUTIFUL FACE, BEAUTIFUL VOICE, PLAYS GUITAR AND MOST IMPORTANTLY HE IS CHRISTIAN. WHAT MORE CAN YOU ASK FOR?! <3 YES, EVERYONE ON BLOGSPOT NEEDS TO KNOW JUST HOW PERFECTLY AMAZING HE IS.

they say he likes me ...
they say he's chopping me...

he tells me he loves me
he protects me from those who hurt me
he shields me from the cold
he gives me random hugs
he knows all my weak spots
he makes fun of me but then apologize right after
he creates nicknames for me...

i tell them i don't like him
im lying to myself, more than i am to them.

sometimes i wonder why i was born into this world. I'm born into this world, and meet people who are so important to me in my life, yet somehow i always end up creating trouble for them. I rather not be alive, if it means that i have to hear those who are important to me cry and just feel so broken up inside. I swear im some bad luck thing or something.. they say its not my fault, and that they aren't blaming me.. but i'll still feel guilt inside of me. I never told you this, but i felt guilt and uneasy for a long time because of this. Even before you told me all the problems that were happening. I didn't tell you because then you'd blame yourself, when its totally not even your fault. The girl hates me. Yet she's taking it all out on you. I wish i was able to talk to her about it .. but i gotta hold back to not get you into more trouble. She thinks i hate her ... when i don't even know her. I don't judge people that quickly. Even now, hearing everything, i dont hate her. Because i still don't know her, and i dont know her life story, therefore i have no right to hate her. But she has no right to even assume that i hate her because she doesn't know me either. This is what's wrong with society nowadays, we're all so quick to judge before even getting to know the person. I'm sorry you feel wronged, im sorry you feel like i took your best friend from you, im sorry for being caring towards her when she was crying at school, im sorry i offered for her to sit with my group, im sorry for having to go to school with you guys. im sorry we talked on facebook, im sorry for coming into your lives. im sorry for even being born in this world. If i could, i would kill myself so that she could go back to you like how it normally was, so that she wouldnt be feeling all this pain right now.

Hello blogspot, i should be working on homework right now in computer class.. but since no one is here, not even my teacher.. i dont care. Today is such a waste day. Like, i wish i didn't come to school today. So pointless, and waste of my time. We're not even doing anything in ANY classes.

In religion today, there was like 10 of us, and all we did was chat, and watch tropic thunder.. i never seen that movie before, but just watching like an hour of it .. its so stupid. I'm barely laughing, yet the guys are like.. dying of laughter.. LOL whut? XD Christian and Dylan were making fun of me. ): they think im dating jarret.. o.O LOL, weird. They wouldnt believe me when i said i wasn't. Does it really look like we're together .. .__." cause we're only just good friends. They keep telling me he likes me and that he's chopping me ... LOOOOL okay there. 8) definitely not.

Second period, did nothing as well. Teacher made me do my math homework.. and i was sitting right in front of her desk, so i had no choice. LOL. i end up finishing though, and it was real easy so it's okay. (Y) there was like only 10 people in that class too. We just watched tv. We were watching MTV Live. hehehe. they started talking about threesomes. LMFAO LMFAO. 'do you like FMF or MFM better?' HAHAHAHHA , i died. so funny! teacher made us change the channel though cause its not appropriate. LOL

Lunch came, and you know.. since everyone is at the football game.. you'd think it'd be much easier to find your friends at lunch.. no. Rachel and Chrissy made it SO MUCH harder for me! LOL. i enter the empty caf, and didnt see them sitting where we usually sit.. and so i see Johnny Brandon and Friza , and i ask them if they've seen Rachel and Chris, and they said outside.. so i go into the hallways trying to look for them, go onto the second floor, trying to look for them.. and still dont find them. LOL, then i go back into the caf after and i found them ! they said they were looking for me. XD LLOOL. the school is so empty today yet it took me longer to find them than usual. HAHA, then like usual, we went to Chris' locker so she can get her stuff.. and she wanted to take off the wrapping paper and everything that was on her locker, and she sticks the sheet of paper with our messages on rachel. LMFAO LMFAO. i got a picture of it. (Y) SO CUTE. i literally fell to the floor laughing. HAHAHA, and the sheet of paper had a rice crispy on it. ROFLROFLROFL. major cutie. (L) i think we went back to bullying rachel. ;) i was on the floor laughing for a good 20 minutes, and the teachers had to come out to the hallway to tell me to shut up. LMFAO.

Now its third period.. and we're doing some literacy stuff to prepare for our literacy test in March.. i swear we're suppose to do literacy in english class.. but this is fully a computer class. -___-" sigh. i'm not even done at all. This story or whatever you want to call it is so boring. Like, i dont care what facial recognition is. Well, there's only 10 minutes left of this class . And then, Chris Rachel Amelia and i are gonna bus early to Chris' house and take a nap and do whatever. LOOOOL. such a waste day.

but im glad chrissy liked her locker, and the gift i got her that i stuck in her locker this morning. :D and my long letter. HEHE. the locker was successful. (Y) no one ripped it or anything, and more people signed it when i got to school this morning. :D YAYAYAYAY ! that is all, blogspot. maybe i'll do my work for another 10 minutes. (:

LOL, today didn't start off good. i arrived at school at around 7:55, and while i was going to my locker, i saw christianne. So, i decided to turn back around, and walk to the other way to my locker ... then in the math hallway, i bump into her. LMFAO. i had wrapping paper in my hand, and it stood out so much, cause it was so colorful, and i tried to hide it behind my back. T_T" LOOOOL. i think she saw. XD she told me she needed to go to the music room cause rachel was waiting there for her. i told her she could go, and that i just needed to go to my locker.. she refused to go to the music room and came to my locker with me. T_T" LOOOOL. i was hoping i could get away so that she wouldn't see the wrapping paper anymore. T_T" LMFAO. plan failed. i think she def saw. who wouldnt be able to see it?! it was long and colorful. ROFLROFL. so i got her to open the locker FOR ME , since i didn't even have enough hands, while i was already trying to hide the wrapping paper. LOL. i literally shoved my whole body into my locker just to try and get the wrapping paper into my locker, and i had to quickly take off my jacket, hang it up, so that it would cover it. LOL i think from the way i was acting, she knew something was going on even if she didnt see the paper. LOOOOL. im the worst with surprises.
In religion today, we had a debate about whether or not religion is a vital part to culture. The teacher divided us up into two groups, and i was with Alex, Ayeriana, Taylor, Josh, Gus, Christian and Chris. LOL. We were the con team. it was so hard trying to think up points to say. But in the end, we wonnnn ! (; awww yeee ! (H) the teacher liked the comments i made. :D HAHA. especially my very last one which got us our last point. (H) LOL, i love debates. (: For some reason, i tend to be so loud and so into it when debates start. ROFL. my family always said i should become a lawyer since i'm so good at talking back. LOOOL

We had a remembrance day ceremony today. We had two guest speakers coming in, to talk about their experience in wars. One of them is a teacher at our school, and the other is a graduate from our school. It just makes me sad at the fact that the soldiers who are fighting to protect us are always worried about whether or not they will be able to wake up tomorrow and see their loved ones again for another time. Even though it was their decision to choose this path, they are still human, and they still would love to be able to see their family and friends again when they return home. Thankyou to all those who have fought and protected our country. Never will you be forgotten. May you find peace in heaven.

After the ceremony, we went to second period, which was math class. It was only 20 minutes. LOL. dont even know why i bother to bring my textbook and binder.. what killed my day today though.. was our updated marks for math... i had a 88 in math before.. but now, whats gonna be shown on my report card is a 83 ! i dropped 5% .. like, im so mad. I gotta work extra extra hard to bump it up all the way to a 96 by february! i need to! It's my goal.. and i dont plan on giving up. I just pray i'll be able to. ):

Lunch as always was fun. (: It's always so jokes with my girls. <3 LOL, for some reason, everyday, we have SOMEONE to make fun of. Usually it's rachel, but today was christianne. ;) LMFAO LMFAO. my stomach hurted so much from laughing. Rachel and i were banging on the tables, putting our heads down and laughing. oh deaaar.. we got serious issues. LOL

It was time for third period.. i hate this class. not just cause its computers and its boring.. but the people in it are annoying. Same girl made stupid comments to me again.. i responded back with an attitude kind of way. I aint gonna deal with this. Like, i ignored you for a good 2 days now, cant you see that i dont want to talk to you? You saying to me 'oh, i didnt know you were even here' isn't gonna get me mad. I prefer you don't know im here or not, so that you wont talk to me. And today you make a comment on my name? 'oh.. vivian's name is some asian shit name' UHM, OKAY THERE GIRL. STUPID FREAKING MAKING STUPID ASS COMMENTS AND LAUGHING TO YOURSELF WHEN ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY. NO ONE ASKED FOR YOUR STUPID OPINION ON MY NAME, SO JUST LEAVE ME OUT OF YOUR CONVERSATIONS. I DONT CARE. I PREFER YOU NOT INCLUDING ME IN ANYTHING. is that even so hard to get? -__-" such a piss off. i dread coming to computer class.

fourth period! im learning civics now. :3 so no more fun, no more mr quintyn and his slack class, no more computers. T_T" i have mr robertson as my civics teacher. I find him pretty cool. I like the way he thinks. (: The way he words his stuff.. just makes us agree with him. LOL. he's a pretty chill guy, very cool. (Y) taught my sister before. XD haha. cause when he was taking attendance, he called my name, then told me to say hi to jessica for him. XD LOOOOL. funny.

After schoool, nicole and i stayed to decorate chrissy's locker. ;) AWW YEEE. it took us around 45 minutes, which isn that bad. LOL. and it doesnt even look noob, since our cutting of the wrapping paper was a complete fail! hopefully its still up by tomorrow when she gets to school. I'm literally gonna CRY if something happens to it, so i hope not. <3

today nothing went as i had hoped and planned it would go .. i'm so unsatisfied by it. i'm completely just so pissed and stressed from it! i had everything planned out PERFECTLY for i dont even know how long! and then.. two days before.. everything just crashes down on me. don't you hate that when that happens? nothing goes as you had planned. yeah.. well today is one of those days. x_x"i went to baskin robbins to order the cake.. the site said 'CUSTOMIZE YOUR OWN CAKE' so i thought.. okay sweeet! i can get the cake however i want it , PERFECT ! :D .. i go today ... and they said they can't do my idea because they don't know how to ... GREAT. so i had to think up of another idea to do on the spot! and time was ticking away since we had to get somewhere for dinner >.> so my whole family was rushing me and i couldn't even think properly.. and on top of that the guy who was helping us was standing there while i was flipping through the cake book, not being able to decide what cake to get... and i felt bad for him just standing there and watching me change my mind thousands of times! i ask my sister & mom for opinions .. they kinda helped me narrow it down to two options, so that was helpful. so after 30 minutes, i was FINALLY able to order the cake. x_x" siggggh. then in the car i got yelled at for taking so long. D: so that didnt even help the situation.

After dinner , we went to walmart cause sister needed to buy something, and i was dying of thirst.. so i went to mcdonald's to ask for a cup of water. my mom said they have to give it to me, cause apparently its part of the 'law' ... i dunno. so i asked, and they said they cant give it to me cause there are the pop dispenser and they think i might take some pop.. I ASKED FOR WATER.. JUST FILL UP A CUP FOR ME WITH TAP WATER. T_T" it was all i asked for. i was dying of thirst. D: so instead, i had to hunt for a water fountain ... i never liked drinking from those.. cause its always so nasty ! but i had no choice T_T

i go home, and go on the computer.. and decided to watch some more idol army.. but of course.. my whole computer just lags.. i thought it would be just for a few seconds.. but no, it kept lagging and lagging .. and i was getting real ticked off by this point. so i just thought, screw it. i'll watch it tomorrow then, i got no math tutoring tomorrow anyways. so.. i then decide to print out pictures.. and my dad filled up the cartridge today for the printer cause my colored ink died just last night. (UGH.)so i was copying pictures onto microsoft word.. and microsoft word freezes and lags my computer THREE times. i kept trying and trying.. and then after a good half hour.. it finally worked! and i got all the pictures ready and everything.. i press PRINT .. and the pictures come all out in BLUE. like, everyone in the pictures have BLUE FACES. we look like smurfs! -____________-" so, my sister helped me .. and she fixed it and said it should work now .. so i try again.. and this time, it was a bit better.. but everyone has blue AND green faces, with lines everywhere. x_____x" so i ask nicole if she could help me print them out, but her printer isnt working.. so i thought i should check to see who's on msn that would be willing to help me.. but OF COURSE.. my msn wont even open! like.. FML. im here pressing it and pressing, and it doesnt pop up even ONCE. so we just decided to go print it at the library tomorrow.. -___-" hopefully we dont have to pay cause the librarian loves me (yn) ): sigh. even through all these obstacles during the process.. i hope the ending will end up good. i really want this to be perfect. i want her to be surprised by this, and be happy with how much effort we put in for her, and show how much we love her. (: just hope she likes everything i planned. T___T God, please help me. <3

Honestly.. there are some certain people who legit piss me off to the MAX. like.. im not even joking. and they even know it themselves! like, i fully told you i don't like you.. yet you continue to do things that piss me off. i dont even know why you find the stuff you do to me funny. I told you that next time im gonna punch you in the face if you piss me off again, and you just laugh.. okay there, just piss me off one more time, and let's see if i actually will punch you in the face. Like, you know i will. I asked if you were sick.. i NEVER asked you to cough on your hand and then use your hand and touch me. like, you're so disgusting. do you not know what manners are? that's just plain rude. you'd probably be bawling your eyes out if someone did that to you! so why the hell are you doing it to someone else? you piss me off. like, i tell you it every single day in class ! you think im joking? everyone knows i don't like you. and everyone knows you shouldn't be messing with me. I'll really beat you if i have to. Even the way i look and talk to you shows i don't like you. yet, you keep approaching me.. just stay a far distance away from me girl. I'm blogging, and you look over my shoulder and read it, and then you make comments on it? uhm, hell no girl. read it, fine. but don't go making stupid ass comments okay? and especially saying, 'why are you even typing it? you dont have any friends who will read it anyways' first off, i got more friends than you, second off, i got people who actually like me and don't think i'm annoying ! I have the worst luck... i was stuck in history with you.. then when i transferred out, you transferred out too, and i just had to end up being in the same class as you again! FML. i want this semester to be done already. i can't stand going to third period, knowing you're here, and just how rude you are. learn some manners, and then come talk to me. piss me the eff off.

Today was a fun day. (: it was the best day for me throughout this whole week. It was a good day to end off the week, and starting a fresh new week again tomorrow. :)

Fellowship was real fun. It was so jokes, i never laughed so hard at church before. My face was all red, every single moment during fellowship. We did A moment of Truth, where we all wrote down a question, and we put it in a bag, and we all had to pick one out of the bag, and we had to read the question and then answer it. The questions people asked were hilarious. And its funny how some questions seemed like, it was directed towards them. LOL. I think the most funniest was when Joseph had to answer his question which was, 'who do you think is the most lang zai, and lang lui in TGAC' and he took literally FOREVER to answer his question. LMFAAAAAO. he picked sam, for the most prettiest boy, and then MQ was like,'honestly' and joseph's like... 'OH HONESTLYYY?!' HAHAHAHAHA. i died. LMFAO, sam's face turned all red from embarrassment or something. XD LMFAO LMFAO LMFAO. just typing this, and thinking back to it, im laughing to myself. HAHAHA. and another question was, 'describe 5 people's future babies' and joyce had to describe MQ's baby, and MQ said ' my baby is gonna be a live baby' and eric thought she meant 'an alive baby' ROFLROFLROFL. and he's like, 'your baby is either gonna be alive or dead' HAHAHAHAHA. oh eric, you and your gulliableness. XDDDD

The question Esther got was hilarious .. XDDDD 'who do you think is the cutest' HAHAHAHA. literally almost EVERYONE jumped up and started laughing. XD HAHAHAHH. MQ, Rebekah, Kevin, MC & i. XD it was too jokes ! MC came up to me and we both were high-fiving each other and laughing our heads off. ROFLROFL. oh man, so jokes. i had tears in my eyes :'D i honestly LOVE this fellowship ! i want to do this more. <3 HAHAHAH.

When we got back to Esther's house, we just went straight to her room and just lied in bed, trying to sleep, but ended up talking for the whole hour i was waiting for my mom to come pick me up. LOL. It was a nice talk. (: We haven't done it in so long, cause my sister always took up so much space! HEHE. our alone time. ;) <3 After my mom picked me up, my mom my aunt & i went to oceans and just bought some food. LOL. i was so tired. :( I didn't want to go in, i just wanted to sleep in the car and wait for them. When we got back to my aunt's apartment, my mom surprised me with something! :D she went to Costco earlier in the day, and she bought me a whole box of werther's original! my favorite type of candy. <3 i was legit so happy and surprised! i remember always asking her to buy me the candy, and she always said, 'ill buy it for you when you least expect it for a surprise' and she bought it when i least expected it! :D there were 280 candies in there. and we splitted with my cousin Benson, cause we both like this candy. :D <333 SO YUMMMY. i had two right after we finished splitting it. ;)

We left after we split the candy and then we went to my uncle Henry's house to drop something off for him. I waited for my mom in the car, and when she came out, she had a whole plate of food in her hands. :D YAYAYAY. my dinner. <3 Then we went to my grandpa chan's house, cause we had stuff to give him too, so i just ate my plate of food at his house. XD HAHA. i told him how Esther said she missed him. XD so we're gonna bring her to his house for a christmas party that he organizes every year at his house. ;) YAYAYAYAY. i wont be a loner! LOL. so i ate like 3 plates of the noodles, and then afterwards my grandpa gave me an ice cream bar to eat. :D HEHE. so goood. (L) i was so full though ;_; i felt my stomach bursting. LMFAO. Then after we finished eating, we had to go home cause i had a project waiting for me. My mother licked my hand like .. 3 times cause i wouldnt let go of the bag of candy. T___T" nastty tinngsss. hehe. Then i just went upstairs to do my project. :) What a beautiful day right ? <3

I miss my sister though. The one day she's not here, it was so fun ! LOOOL. sucks for her. ;) but hope she's having fun in niagra right now. :3 can't wait for her to come home on Tuesday. :D

wowow, i haven't had such a fun conversation with my best friends nicole & christianne in quite awhile. <3 it felt real nice! We don't chill as much anymore, but i just love how close we all are still. <3 With all the stress i had with my math homework tonight, and how people are just annoying me lately at school, this was exactly what i needed. Just a fun and normal conversation on twitter between the three of us, arguing about who's pretty and what not. (L) All of us are fighting our own battles right now, but having one another, we can overcome anything that gets in the way, because we'll always be there for one another. <3

I think what touched me most, was what christianne said to me. 'you're my best friend, i have to tell you everything' no one has ever said that to me before who were my best friends. The most they'd say is 'youre my best friend, i love you' but what christianne said.. it made me feel like i'm worth it, and that she actually wants me in her life. It legit touched my heart. I knew what she said was true, because she didn't just say it one time and that was it, while i was talking to her for only 20 minutes, she said that to me 3 times. No one would ever say that 3 times in just 20 minutes. It's because of her, that i'm able to start believing again that i really do have true friends in my life who will always be there for me, and that they actually think of me as someone who's worth keeping. It's because of her, that i can be myself around people, and not have to live up to people's expectations. It's because of her, that i'm able to learn how to trust again, and open up my heart. She's the one who would be honest with me no matter what. She knows exactly what to say in any situation that i may be in. She would sacrifice her sleep for me, to make sure i'm okay, and i would definitely do the same for her anyday. It's almost been a year since i met her, and it feels like i've known her for a life time. Like, we were childhood friends. She is the reason for me having hope in people in this world nowadays, and giving people second chances. I am the most luckiest girl to have met her. She always brings me happiness and gets rid of my sorrow.

Christianne Greogrio, i love you to death, you don't even understand. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Hello blogspot. (: i'm currently in the library right now, waiting for Aunt Helen to pick me up at 3:30. I got nothing better to do, so might as well blog. This might just be my daily routine. XD haha. Today was a boring and tiring day. People for some reason seem to be getting to me today. I don't know .. either i'm super tired, or yeah .. people are really annoying today. Religion today, we went to the library for the whole period to do some reasearch for our assignment that's due on Monday. We have to choose a sacrament, and make a brochure about it. I chose the sacrament of Reconciliation. I got quite abit of info in just the period we were in. (: So i'm happy i didn't lose focus and went on facebook, twitter and whatnot. :3 HEHE. So, these three guys who were beside me on the computers were talking about chinese people .. -__-" i just wasn't able to not eavesdrop and listen to their conversation. one of the guys Colton looked at me and asked .. 'Chinese isn't a language right?' LOOOL. so i told him, 'There's two types of languages for chinese people' and they were fighting about whether china was the country, or chinese was. XD LMFAO. man, they're quite dumb. OH YEAH, one thing that pissed me when we were in the library going to the computer to do research was that i was heading towards a computer, and these two girls wanted to sit beside each other on the computer, and they just snatched my seat away .. like, i was ready to sit down, and they just take the computer over and push me away .. UGH. pissed me off. so i had to go to the other side of the library to find a computer. -__-" some people just really don't have manners these days.

In math, i had to do my quiz today that i missed yesterday. I hope i did well on that. $: I had a brain fart when i was doing it . x_x" man. And i honestly couldn't even concentrate properly while doing my quiz because the teacher was teaching a new lesson. I honestly hate missing a day of school. I just get so behind, and i don't know what is happening. I finished my quiz in around 20 minutes, so i had to quickly copy everything that was on the board so that the teacher wouldn't erase it. I was able to figure out how to do the math, thank goodness. This is why i'm grateful for going to math tutoring, so that if anything, i can always solve it on my own without having to ask the teacher for a full explanation again.

Then it was lunch. I was able to find Christianne and Rachel. (: hehe. Cassandra came and joined us for lunch too. :3 We just talked like usual, and christianne and i were picking on Rachel. XD HAHAHAHA. its so funny and cute. <3 Rachel is so adorable, when she gets picked on, all she does is pout. LOOOOL. She curled her hair today. :3 she looked like a princess ! and i swear her hair looked so much longer today. LMFAO. We made up a couple name for her, with anyone who's name started with a 'F' XD HAHAHA , when you combine her name and the letter F , you get FACHEL , which also sounds like FACIAL ! (; LMFAO. i dont know how our minds came up with that. 8) HEHE, we're too cool. Cassandra was so cute, she couldn't hear the stuff we were saying,and she kept getting words mixed up. <3 LMFAO. so cute, cause she legit looked so lost. LOL.

Third period came, and once again, i hate missing school cause of this. x_x i was so lost in this class.. like, i already am lost.. now i'm just even MORE lost. Thank goodness ronilea allowed me to copy the note from yesterday .. but i was still so confused. x__x" gosh. hopefully , i'll be able to somehow catch up and understand what we're learning. We have our chapter 3 unit test tomorrow. I honestly hope i don't fail .. i wanna boost my 85 to hopefully a 90 ! i would be so happy if i actually can get to a 90 ! so, hopefully i'll do good tomorrow. Daniel came to talk to my teacher, and i asked him to help me since he took this course before, and he refused. ): what a meanie.

fourth period ! (: this class is so slack, im gonna miss my teacher when i have to go to civics next week. ): i love careers ! we're working on our portfolio right now. i finished typing up two reflections that i need. :3 i was working on a table of contents for the portfolio, i saved it, and i totally over write it with something else, and saved THAT instead. D: im so stupid. i was so frustrated with myself. now, i gotta do it all over again! UGH. Some people in my careers class are just starting to tick me off though. Like, i'll be on twitter and tumblr, and people ask me why i go on it .. uhm, why not?! and they start making rude comments to me .. like, all you guys go on is facebook, and stalk people all day long .. if you can do that, why can't i ?! and since i'm always listening to my ipod, they constantly ask if they can listen so they can hear my 'asian music' like .. stop making fun of the music i listen to. I don't make fun of you for listening to all rap, or all emo songs. like, leave me and my music alone. Music is a universal language, you don't need to understand the lyrics to listen to music. People need to get that through their heads. Everyday.. i gotta put up with this. Always me, cause i'm the only chinese girl in all my classes. Everytime people talk about asians.. they just drift directly to chinese people, and make racists jokes. So annoying. sometimes i just wanna beat them up.

Then today, i find out that volleyball tryouts has already started.. i was so mad.. like literally raging. i was praying and hoping that i wouldn't miss it again this year.. and turns out, I DID. I can never hear the announcements that come on in the morning, because my class is always so loud, and we're stuck in a portable, which has no PA system. last year i missed volleyball and basketball tryouts.. and this year too! honestly, im so fed up. it just makes me so maaad. now, all im waiting for is november 28th, where TGAC is gonna have a volleyball tournament for fellowship.

ugh, not the best day for me .. got tests tomorrow, thursday and friday .. and 2 assignments due on monday. x___x" gotta work my butt off, and keep my dramas on hold. D: sigh. Well, at least my parents had a super fun time tonight at the show they went to cause my sister and i won free tickets for them. (: that is all, until next time blogspot. ;D

Today, my religion class went to Mount Alverno for a retreat. It was mandatory for us to go, if we want to pass this course -.- This was my second time going there for a retreat. I went back in grade 8.

I gotta admit, it wasn't what i expected. I think it was more fun and better back in grade 8. I love the people i have in my religion class, including my teacher, since she's so chill .. but , there was something about it this year that i didn't like. The smell everywhere in that place STINKED. Everywhere we went, there was a horrible smell to it. I couldn't breath .. just plain horrible. The food wasn't all that bad. We had tacos for lunch. hehe. everyone kept saying how bad the tacos are, but i thought they were pretty good. Maybe if the beef was like .. warm, and not freezing good, then it would've been better. But, the one thing that really ticked me off was the fact that two girls took the tacos that were provided, wrapped it and everything .. and didn't eat it. Instead, they threw it out. Honestly, it pisses me off so much when people go and waste food. The taco was huge too .. that one taco could feed a whole family .. and they dont even think much about it, and just complained about it and threw it out .. honestly. You knew you didn't want to eat a taco, so why did you get it in the first place? Even if you didn't like the taco, you could've still sucked it up, and eat it. The cooks in the kitchen spent so much preparing food for us to fill our stomach with, and all you could do was complain and throw food out? You should show some respect and gratitude towards them. Adn then they decide to just laugh it off like it's nothing. All day, all they knew how to do was complain, complain, complain.. it just pissed me off so much. Everyone in my class was so loud .. -.- like, people just didn't know when to be quiet. We could never hear the instructions to a game properly, cause people are always talking.

We talked about relationships today. About sex and all that other stuff. How we shouldn't have sex at this age, and how we should save it for that special someone, and that we get the disease if we have sex now, especially with people who already had multiple partners and so on. I think the only thing i liked about this retreat was the fact when we were playing games, our leader turned on some christian music, like Hillsong United. <3 I just couldn't stop singing along. LOL, i just wanted to quit the game, and just sit beside the cd player and listen to the songs. HAHA.