This week sucks . Why are there so many people who are either in the hospital or has a family member that passed away? ): It just breaks my heart, and i got so emotional thinking about it .

Right now , Richard is at sick kids hospital with brain cancer. Honestly, when i heard the news i started crying. Someone so young, with a great future ahead of him, is in the hospital. Its true when people say you don't know whats going to happen tomorrow. One day you can be perfectly fine, and the next, you can be sick. I hope we get to visit him sooon . It must be so hard on the family right now, and on him. But all the church people are definitely with him, praying for him every night. <3 We really would love to see him again at church! I know God is with him & his family as well , and will heal him. God creates miracles , and i have a feeling that things will turn out alright. (L)

So two nights ago , Enoch's & Esther's grandma passed away. ): So sad. The family must be going through a hard time right now to accept the fact that she's gone, and to prepare for the funeral. When i saw where the service is gonna be held, i felt like i was gonna cry. The same funeral home where i went for my own grandma & grandpa. I never thought that i would go there again just a few months later after my grandma passed away. It just brings back the horrible memories of the cries for my grandma to not leave us, and all the tears streaming down our face for the two days we did the service. But of course, right now, Esther & Enoch's family are who's going through a rough time, and not me. We just need to be there for them, and their grandma is now in a better place with God in heaven.

woah ! last time i blogged was on july 26th . its been a week , yet felt like forever . So , last monday was my birthdaaay ! :3 finally 15 , half way to 30 . T_T" and i must say , this year has been the best birthday yet ! everyone made it so special for me , and i cant be more grateful . (L) So i'll start from the very beginning !

So ,on july 31st, i planned a birthday dinner at montanas for 6:30 . I was so happy to see all my best friends coming. (L) i really thought some would forget and not show up ! But they did. <3 and i was so happy. <3 my 3 asians , & my 2 white chicks all came. (LLL) It was great seeing them all , especially rachel! Not seeing her for one whole month , oh man . i missed her to death ! I felt bad though, her daddy was sick but she still came to the dinner because she promised me. ): hopefully tito is getting better. (LLL) So yeah, rachel & alyssa decided to shove their birthday cards in my face, when i fully told them , i didnt want anything but CLEARLY, those girlies cant hear properly .. >.> or anyone else for this matter . haha, Esther gave me a red envelope, it was so cute! Rachel took it, examined it, and made up some next chinese shit with the words that were written on it . LOOOOOL. and Alyssa just comes and asks me , 'is that what it really says ?!?!' LMFAOOO . those girls are my lifeeee. (L) Nicole made me a card. :3 LMFAO , so bootleg but so cute. (LLL) HAHAHAHA . white sheet of paper , and words inside. LOOOOOL . ohdeaaar. XD i honestly had a great time with them, catching up , talking about nothing. (L) ROFLROFL, christianne & i were bickering at each other , and esther just happened to be in the middle of it. LOOOOL . we're such a couple . XD <3 we fight for a good 10 minutes , and then we're all goood ! : D i was so happy i was able to order a kids meall. LOOOL, sad but , i wasnt even able to finish it ! D: LMFAO . i dont know how much i would've wasted if i bought a regular meal for adults. LOOOL . i got ribs, SO GOOOD . & then we got dessert! YUMMMY . we got some double fudge earthquake something something. LOL chrissy & i shared one . i didnt even finish the brownies , it was so dry , and there was barely any ice cream. T_T" BUT THATS OKAY ! 8D i still enjoyed it of course. (L) i didn't get a moosehead on my head this year! LOOOOL . They were planning it, but they never succeeded BWAHAHA. SUCKERS . when three of them went to the washroom , i thought they went to go tell some person , but they actually went . LMFAO , they said they were waiting for me to leave the table. ROFLROFLROFL. stupid girls. (L) we left montana's at around 9:30 and while we were outside , we were singing. LMFAO. D: oh the things we do when we're together. <3 after rachel , esther & alyssa left , it was only me chrissy & nicolee . we first went to metro, to buy some gummy bears for audrey since she was craving it. LOL . then while we made our way back to montana's to wait to get picked up , we saw a shopping cart, and nicole decided she wanted to ride it . so she got in , and i started pushing her. LOOOOL i started pushing her onto the road, and she screamed. LOOOOL. (: it was fun scaring her . xD BWAHAHAHA . we did that for a good 15 minutes , and then after we just sat down and talked while we were waiting. :3 that was it for that night .

On august 2nd , which was my actual birthdaay , nicole & chrissy came over. (L) when they got to my house , they decided it would be cool if they shouted 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY VIVIAN' outside to my window. XD LOOOOL. so many kids were outside and were looking over. ROFLROFL. we just chilled at my house, went out for walks to the park, and we ate,and watched the last song and pokemon .. even if it was a fail. LOL at dinner though, my mommy wouldnt stop making fun of me. ): we were eating outside , and then a bee came flying around and i screamed and caused a huge scene. LOOOOL, my neighbours came out to see what was happening. $: ROFLROFL, thats embarrassing . in the end , we went back inside to eat. LMFAOOOO . i wish esther was able to make it to my house that day. ): but she had piano . .> my mom called us up to eat more food. LOL, surprisingly , nicole & chirssy were complaining about eating . xD HAHAHA . my mommy , my sister nicole & chrissy sang happy birthday to me , and my cake was an ice cream sandwich with 5 strawberries that we had. LMFAOOO . so bootleg! but it was actually cuteee. HAHAH . wish i had a picture of it . (L) my mother's hard work . XD and then shortly after that , nicole & chrissy had to leaveee. D: but i had a lovely day with those two. (LLLL)

august 6th ! :D it was such a lovely afternoon/night with my best fraand christianne. <333 she made it so special for me. (L) Honestly , i never know why she decides to spend so much money on me in the first place. i feel HORRIBLE . so, she got me this domo toy , its green and its limited edition. :D teehee . its so cute. (L) its right beside me every night i sleep ~ we were thinking of names to call it , and i have decided that this domo is gonna be called VICTOR. LOOOOL YES . :3 i have my personal victor . ;) BWAHAHA . i was originally gonna name it the hulk , since its green and all , but you know .. i like victor better. ;) this girl said that domo was only 'part 1' of my gift >.> i was like , 'WTFFFF?' like, the domo toy wasnt even cheap to begin with >.> when i was complaining this girl's like , 'its okay, i still have money left over' ... uhm yeah okay , i highly doubt that. D: the things she buys for me arent even cheap DDD:< so we went on the laptop for awhile , and we danced. then at around 6:00 we started to make lasagna ! :D OMG , IT WAS SOOO GOOOD . and i felt accomplished. :D i cut up onions ! LMFAO . it took forever .. but whatever. XD i was like, crying after i finished chopping them up . XD at least i didnt cut myself. (Y) ahahah . we finished at around 7:00 and then we layered the lasagna , and let it cook! so we got to eat the lasagna at around 8:00 (LLL) OH MAN , SO YUMMMMMY . i havent eaten lasagna in 6 years! so i was so grateful towards chrissy & tita for making it , and buying all the ingredients and stuff. (LLL) So after that , Chrissy showed me 'Part 2' of my gift . and , OMFG i was gonna go in tears ! i was speechless . I never expected her to get me something like that! She got me this customized cookie from Mrs. Fields in BCC . It was a huge heart shaped cookie with our name 'Vivianne' in the middle of it. (LLL) honestly , it was the most amazing gift EVER . Whenever she mentioned getting one for me for my birthday , i always thought she was joking , but .. she actually did it ! I couldnt believe it . Definitely wasn't expecting anything like that . She had to break my heart though.
and might i add , my soompi family started talking to me again , so i was so grateful to that . they all wished me happy birthday and everything . it was amazing. (LLL) I LOVE THEM SO MUCH . definitely felt like old times when we all had a huge convo together. <33

Seriously , my parents and I cant communicate with each other at all . we’re always getting into fights . whenever I don’t do something that satisfies them , they always call me stupid and bring my studies into it . like , school doesn’t teach me everything . there are things I will never know . but clearly my parents cant seem to understand that. They think I should know everything because I go to school . like fuck . im getting really fed up with them . I swear just Thursday you guys were telling one another to not discourage your own daughters by always talking about our studies and calling us stupid . we fully told you guys we hate hearing that . im not even joking , my self esteem is so down there , no one can ever bring it back up again . I get called stupid everyday . I get called fat everyday . okay fuck , I get it . must you remind me every single day , every single second of the day ? I swear , sometimes you guys are so two faced . infront of our guests , you’re always praising me and shit , and then the next , you’re insulting me to no end . make up your mind . either you praise me or insult me . don’t give me both . I really cant stand you two right now . you guys are talking constantly talking about me . why is it that I have to wake up , hear you guys talking about me , and continue my crying session from the night before ? for the past two days , I’ve cried a good 10 hours . but did any of you guys know that ? of course not . rather , you call me stupid for crying . im sorry , am I not human ? if you guys can cry about your problem , then why cant I ? do you see me calling you guys stupid when you guys cry? No . I fuckin try and help you and talk about your problems . you guys never once did that for me . whenever I came home from school crying last year , all you guys ever did was call me stupid for crying . you guys always thought you had it rough back then . what ? you think we don’t have it rough now ? sorry but youre wrong , its just as hard right now as it was for you guys . you guys always said for me to open up to you guys more , and to tell you guys my problems , but tell me , how can I when all you say as advice is ‘youre stupid’ ? is that what I want to hear ? no . sad how I cant even go to my own parents for help on my problems , how I cant even go to them for a shoulder to lean on . if im called stupid all the time , then I’ve come to the conclusion im adopted . cause you guys are so smart right , and im so stupid . and if the parents are so smart , but the daughter is stupid , then there’s something wrong there . so I guess im adopted . I seriously cant wait till I get out of this damn house . I cant even call it a home anymore . everytime I cry , its always because of you guys . thanks guys , seems like you enjoy seeing me suffer and crying every night . one day if you don’t see me anymore , I hope you know it was all your doing .